if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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