either way he was missing a nipple.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
