at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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