Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
