party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
