She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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