Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
