So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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