Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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