talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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