How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
