im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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