How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
