I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
