It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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