I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, beer. Big fan.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
