3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im holly from the hills drunk
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize