If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
