My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
