Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
