I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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