i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
