When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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