watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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