I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
