I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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