Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
