How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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