I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
