quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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