Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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