Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He has the fingertips of a God
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