this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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