I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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