Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
