so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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