yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
