come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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