Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
