When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
