why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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