By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
