you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
