I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
