Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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