i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
