Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Randomize
