dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize