What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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