So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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