May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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