We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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