Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
