my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
