the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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