I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
