Already got asked if we're dating
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's just like the Real World with babies
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
