why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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